Phoenix

Phoenix

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” – T.S.Eliot

 

The year that was, 2008, was hell of year, a year purely contemplated by me as the year when the world goes mad and it did setup mark up to my reputation. But as always all good things come to an end – atleast if you don’t really deserve it.  Well so 2008 saw so many changes, Sumi and Sar started their new life together. And Sumi off course moved paved the way thru the coveted halls of IIM L. Sid got engaged to Su and yeah got married to her on 27^th Feb 09. Chettah, fell in love yet agn!! Vini cracked IIM L and awaiting interview. Anip got married and Harsh and Bidhu are scheduled in the days to follow. Megha got married and moved to Mumbai. Great news from all of them, a step closer to what they always wanted to do or may be said as a step closer to destiny.

 

For me it was it was an end to all the things that I was passionate abt and hence a new beginning. The past have had to end and I ended it in the worst possible way. But then I think that it was the best for me. Yes!! I have been mean for this one time.

Anways I am not further drilling into how and what!!

 

This is will be my last entry to this blog.

Thanks Guys!!

Take Care

~Varun

CACHE OF MEMORIES - Rock On!!

CACHE OF MEMORIES - Rock On !!

Well, watched Rock On last week, and since then had an urge to post in few of my recent musing. Well a Hypothesis to start with: If “Kaali Zuban” would have reviewed the movie it would have been: “Must be a good Movie, different hogi I will surely watch”. And after KZ would have seen this movie: Awesome Movie – For some movies are not just about characters, it’s some times bigger than that like “Chak De”, “Bend It like Bekham” etc. ek bar aur dekhenge. And as always she would have been right. Rock On, awesome movie!! Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be).

 Rock On brings back lots of memories back, all the rocking time that I had spent in Noida. Bunking office, never ending coffee and tea sessions, post office hanging out for shopping or pool table or foosball @ Shoprix or to catch up some movie or the Birthday Parties or the dance floor @ Chicane or running up to the terrace to enjoy the rains or the chocolate brownie at Café Express or an infinite amount of fun that we used to have. (Puys!!). Well it’s true: Not every one gets a second chance to live out his life. Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)

 

 Few things in the movie, once when Purab Kholi (KD) come and hands over the mike to Prachi Desai (Sakshi) and asks her to sing...She looked dazzled and confused... But once she starts to sing all goes smooth …. That life you just have to be in the flow and then all will fall into place. You just have to flow once you in the drift until and unless you start to think. Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be). 

The song I liked the most: Phir Dekhiye 

Sung by Caralisa Monteiro

Aankhon mein jisaki koi toh khaab hai

khush hai wahi jo thoda betaab hai
zindagi mein koyi aarzoo kijiye, phir dekhiye
honto pe jisake koi toh geet hai
woh haare bhi toh usaki hi jeet hai
dil mein jo geet hai gunguna lijiye, phir dekhiye

yaadon mein jisake kisika naam hai
sapano ke jaisi usaki har shaam hai
koyi toh ho jise apana dil dijiye, phir dekhiye

khaab buniye jara, geet suniye jara
phul chuniye jara, phir dekhiye...

 

Beautiful Lyrics, and quite brilliantly sung and very well supported by the guitarist.

Well.....

 Life.

 Goes on.

 Waits for none.

 People come.

 People stay.

 People Give.

 Take.

 Leave.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes... not so good.

Analyzing wont help much.

Not analyzing... you won’t do.

Much confusion.

Many conclusions.

One reality.

Not much is in your control.

How we wish...

~Mundu

ps: probably will update the post ... 

Mood: None

Listening To: Phir Dekhiye @ Rock On

Quote: All you need is for someone to tell you "don't go"... 

HappY Independence Day

15th August, 2008 marks the 61st anniversary on Indian Independence after ceasing to be a British colony after a very long time. Freedom, yes freedom, India has attained freedom since 1947, freedom from the rule of an alien government which had curbed India’s potential growth in various forms. So here we have now a “FREE” India, thanks and regards to all the patriots who had contributed with the lives and death for the Indian liberation movement.
61 years, I don’t know if this amount time is/was inevitably required for Indians to realize and to gain the other forms of Freedom other than the governance. What is the one omnipresent difference that we see in the India today and India pre Independence? From my point of view which is neither political nor indifferent from the present political affair is National Integrity. We fought the British as a country not as states, the whole of India stood together and pitched in together to fight against the alien force there was no difference on cultural, religious or social grounds. Everyone did what had they had to do, for the goal was common and of prime importance to each individual. But what happened after that? Did we miss out our new goal of getting India to as a front runner not just economically but also to unleash in true sense freedom? As we gained freedom we did learn new linguistic words like bureaucracy, bribery and many such similar words and unleashed it to the complete.
What is freedom to us? Does it ring any bells? Is freedom that was sought out by the hardship of so many martyrs only for the chosen few? India might have attained political freedom but are we still free? Are we free from mind? Freedom politically can be a mass phenomenon but the essence of which lies on each individual and its onto each and every individual to protect to bestow the gift of freedom to himself and to people around them. Dowry- I simply don’t know how ever this custom came into Indian practice, for Indians have always enjoyed the state of very high cultural heritage and these kind of customs (If people wish to call it a custom – now days they just call it Maa Pita ka pyar- but in real terms it’s a bribery ..sheer bribery.) And it sucks to see that in the present state of affairs people who call them educated and sophisticated still vow by it. So is this the freedom that we were looking forward for? Child labor- is freedom only for adults? This one is one of the worst forms of once exploitation of human fundamental rights. Female Feticide – Ohh yes freedom is just for people who are exist on planet earth isn’t it? And you have no freedom if you are still unborn; your destiny is governed by people around you, and since you as an unborn child and cant fight against it your destiny is bound to society which alts to the complex viscous circle that encompasses you and your life. Is this freedom, where your decisions and the destiny of helpless people bound in the hands of few who had set up rules to run the mankind?? What kind of freedom is this in which a person is identified not just by his country, but by his cast, region and sex? Are we still so primitive and orthodox and remarkably so immature that we cant make our decisions and our destiny is so bound that we dare to think beyond that?
Freedom according to me is a concept where you are free to do what you ought to do keeping in sync with humanity and you should be empowered enough to follow the path taken by you. Freedom is a dot (.) free from scratches of ill will of society, poverty and exploitation.
One of my very good friend introduced me to CRY, an NGO by nature working for the good will of kids. In short you can touch the lives of so many kids just by a simple gesture. Thanks to her for introducing me to it. Let’s get together and try and change the life of these kids who are the most exploited of the lot.

HappY Independence to All.

Saare Jahan Se Aacha....

سارے جہاں سے اچھا ہندوستاں ہماراہم بلبليں ہيں اس کي، يہ گلستاں ہمارا
غربت ميں ہوں اگر ہم، رہتا ہے دل وطن ميںسمجھو وہيں ہميں بھي، دل ہو جہاں ہمارا
پربت وہ سب سے اونچا، ہمسايہ آسماں کاوہ سنتري ہمارا، وہ پاسباں ہمارا
گودي ميں کھيلتي ہيں اس کي ہزاروں ندياںگلشن ہے جن کے دم سے رشک جناں ہمارا
اے آب رود گنگا، وہ دن ہيں ياد تجھ کو؟اترا ترے کنارے جب کارواں ہمارا
مذہب نہيں سکھاتا آپس ميں بير رکھناہندي ہيں ہم وطن ہے ہندوستاں ہمارا
يونان و مصر و روما سب مٹ گئے جہاں سےاب تک مگر ہے باقي نام و نشاں ہمارا
کچھ بات ہے کہ ہستي مٹتي نہيں ہماريصديوں رہا ہے دشمن دور زماں ہمارا
اقبال! کوئي محرم اپنا نہيں جہاں ميںمعلوم کيا کسي کو درد نہاں ہمارا

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJoL1Yp7N6o

Present Mood: have lost all mood

Listening to: Vande Mataram- Lata Mangeshkar

Pursuit of Happiness

Pursuit of Happiness

I have watched this movie a number of times now, and every time I watch this movie and try to realize that what’s exactly is the pursuit of happiness, and also I keep wondering why in the movie was the hero bestowed with happiness only in the last three minutes of the movie. I think it’s rightly said some where; pursuit is the word for happiness, for happiness has to be searched and can’t be found on the way out. Also I watched the movie “Taare zaameen par” yesterday, I shouldn’t have watched that movie, I mean I wanted to watch that movie but I knew some how that I wont be able to stop myself from crying after watching the movie. And I was right, I started feeling home sick, missed my mom around me missed my childhood. Childhood... aaah .. what a time it was, when innocence circumscribed us from all the begrimed world around us. At that stage I always used to dream of growing big and gain the independence of my thought process, but some how now I realize that it was a shiny illusion that eluded us to grow, real life is good when it’s full of purity and innocence. As we grow up we are bound to streamline the way we think or act, boundaries are drawn, we think and work in parallel with a virtual sphere that has thick layer of encapsulation over us called the society. Off late I have seen this hindi movie called “Yahaan”. I don’t know how did I ever skip this movie, but still am glad that I did watched it now. It has many beautiful songs but the one that still rings bells is the one called “Urzu urzuduru kut”, it’s a Hindi one but has some this one line in Kashmiri, a very beautiful song. The virtual world that every kid sows around them as a kid and dream of nurturing it day and night slowly and steadily begins to fade as the stealth layer around them becomes translucent to the grim light of the external world as with the influence of people around them. Childhood sees no priority in life, no society, no discrimination, no alter ego, no guilt, no good, no bad, no feelings but just happiness in its purest form. The serenity of the thoughts is just like a tea garden infinite as it may seem and green and dense.

As we grow the complex ionic power that rules the mind makes us practical, we begin to see the world around us from the point of view of others we tend to inculcate the experience of others in ourselves more like a short cut to happiness, a pursuit of happiness that we are not aware of, a state of happiness which we don’t know will make us happy or not. The turbulence of the flow is so strong that we tend to flow with it leaving our own individuality and own peace of mind and our own self behind us and just flow with the current. The flaw of uncertainty creeps in as we are not sure of the path that we are taking and the destination of our happiness. The turbulence whirl’s us, drops us in whirlpool, gives you an adulterated air to breath, you tend to become myopic, there is a thick layer of experience of yours and others that acts as specs to watch out the things that happens around us. You become judgmental from these experiences; you tend to split things around you as good or bad, right or wrong. These are just like incremental superimposed thoughts that you tend to pick up on your way to your happiness. This thick layer of personal experience and the experience that you pick on your way from others corrodes your childhood in short your happiness.

And then at a certain point in your life you realize this and more over you question yourselves, why? You, try to run away from this question, you try to find solace in the company of people whom you don’t know and who don’t know you, just to save the strain that this question might give to you. You fear will that will you be able to articulate yourself to someone what you are, why you are, who you are, what do you want, what are your dreams and what do you want in your pot of happiness. You go back to your days when you were kid, try to find out the answers you know you will never be able to find. You tend to lie to yourself about yourself. You try to explain them, they listen and put in there own perspective to it and you find calmness, but you know internally that this calmness will not rest for eternity for it’s never over and when again will you be alone you will be embarked by the same insane question why?

What exactly is the happiness that we want to pursue? Is it that we are more robotic now and tend to pick up the ambiance that makes us feel cozy or is it the long listing of tangible goods that serves up to make us feel comfortable, or is it the people around you who don’t know you but tend to make you smile most of the time or may be you smile just because you don’t want to be sad. The answer to the question is still unanswered, for all listing mentioned above are just to keep you away from thinking why?

Its ironic how strange the god has created the world around us, when we are babies and are not inculcated with the speech that’s comprehensible by the others we don’t understand there pain or there needs as we don’t understand what they want to say or why they are in pain, and at that point there needs are so simple, food, sleep etc. and then as we grow up we our needs are so more complex that we tend to feel short of words to make them realize it to someone. For babies, mom is the one who understands them the most and as we grow??

In the end it’s about the strength you have within to face this question and to find your happiness, you can just run away and not think about it. Destiny does exist, yes it does, but destiny does exist for everyone, destiny is a more of the biggest lie that you can lie to yourselves. Destiny comes when hope is over. And I know that we all know that.

And yeah, day after tomorrow is Christmas, Merry Christmas to all of you. May you have a wonderful year ahead.

~Varun

Present Mood: --

Presently listening To: Iris@ City of Angels

Illusion and the Truth….

Illusion and the Truth….

Why is water transparent?
Why is the sky blue?
Why everything that’s good has to go away?
Why does time exist?

Water is transparent because we can see thru it.
Sky looks good in blue, hence its blue.
Everything good has to go away because only then we realize its value.
Time exists else your life will be stagnant.

Had water been not transparent then we would have never known how would if it were not transparent.
Not everything that’s good happens.
Sometimes even after you realize, they go away.
Time flies and makes your life stagnant.

I know I am so very not good when I am in my philosophical boots.

For the past few weeks now I have been so lost and confused that everything looked so hazy, the grey cells had stopped responding to give me answers to my questions. But now so do I realize I was disturbing so many people around me that now I have given up to fate.

I don’t know what’s more difficult, is it more difficult to do things that you don’t believe and still do for you think it might work or is it more difficult not to be able to do those things that you have always believed but still cant do.

In the last couple of days I have been praying a lot (I don’t believe in doing that), praying for so many things that even god must be very confused by now on what I really want. But since he is the god he would have understood what I want. On the other hand I tried my best to keep things under control but in vain. Its so painful just like a bullet thru your head when you are a reason for tears in the eyes of a person for whom you care so much that all other things are minuscule in front of it. When you are so helpless that you have to push your lungs to breath.

But somehow I realize when you have so little control over fate you don’t have a much of option to do anything other than act so stupid as if you have lost your mind. The whole point is if you cant make them happy, the least you could do is not to make them cry.

Also in the past few days I have realized time is all fake, be it four months or more it doesn’t matter. If things have to happen they not even take second to happen and if it doesn’t have to happen the eternity will fall short for it.

I don’t know if there is any fairytale story which has a sad end, but I certainly wish that this one ends on a happy note for it’s just like as in fairy tale.

Mood: :(

Song: When you say nothing at all....@NottingHill

Around the corner I have a friend...

Around the corner I have a friend…

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone.



And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

She knows I like her just as well,

As in the days when I rang her bell.



And she rang mine but we were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.



"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on her

Just to show that I'm thinking of her."

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.



Around the corner, yet miles away,

And that's what we get and deserve in the end,

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Present Mood: Poignant

Listening to: When You Say Nothing At All @ Nottinghill

Happy Friendship Day

Friendship Day!!

History: International Friendship Day is celebrated annually, on the first Sunday of August, in several countries. It was initially declared a holiday in honor of friends in the United States by the U.S. Congress in 1935.

Full many a glorious morning have I seeFlatter the mountain-tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,

Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy;

Anon permit the basest clouds to rideWith ugly rack on his celestial face,

And from the forlorn world his visage hide,

Stealing unseen to west with this disgrace:

Even so my sun one early morn did shineWith all-triumphant splendour on my brow;

But out, alack! He was but one hour mine;

The region cloud hath mask'd him from me now.

Yet him for this my love no whit disdaineth;

Suns of the world may stain when heaven's sun staineth.

~ William Shakespeare

A good friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
Happy Friendship Day to all of you and especially to those of you with whom I have lost touch with. Wishing you all a beautiful life ahead.